Important Documents to Take With You
- Personal Protection Order
- Driver’s Licence or state id card
- Photo of the abuser
- Social Security Card
- Custody papers, divorce decree, etc.
- Medical insurance cards, medical records, medications and prescriptions
- DHS identification
- Birth Certificates
- Pictures of your injuries
- Checkbook and/or credit card
- Lease, rental agreement or mortgage papers
- Car registration/insurance
- Health and life insurance papers
- School records
- House and car keys
- Phone calling card
- Emergency shelter numbers
- Any other papers you may need
What Green Gables Haven Offers
- Shelter for the abused person with their children for up to four weeks.
- Access to the shelter 24 hours a day.
- While in shelter, access to clothing, personal items (shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, etc.,) food, and/or emergency transportation.
- Advocacy to assist in legal, medical, and social matters.
- Counseling, support groups, parenting groups, information, and referrals.
- Children’s activities and groups.
- Mentoring programs
Contact the Shelter by Email
E-mail is not a safe or confidential way to talk to someone about danger or violence in your life. If you need to make a confidential call, traditional corded phones are more private than cell phones or cordless phones
What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence is commonly described as a pattern of learned behavior in which one person uses physical, sexual, and emotional abuse to control another person.
This behavior consists of multiple – sometimes daily – violence. The criminal behaviors include physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.) sexual abuse (unwanted, forced sexual activity), and stalking.
Although emotional, psychological and financial abuses are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of domestic assault and may lead to criminal behaviors of abuse. In domestic violence situations, one person is dominating and controlling the other.
- Battering is the single major cause of injury to women.
- There are risks attached to every decision a battered woman makes. Safety planning is the process of evaluating the risks and the benefits of different options and identifying ways to reduce risks.
- Each woman has her own individual strength. The primary one that all battered women share is their incredible ability to survive.
Forms of Abuse
- If any of these traits are present in your relationship you are likely experiencing some form of abuse and should seriously consider contacting a professional for help.
- Being continually criticized and called names
- Being threatened with harm to you, your family or pets
- Being manipulated with lies, contradictions and mind games
- Being convinced you are to blame for the abuse
- Being harassed about affairs he/she imagines
- Being pushed, shoved, and/or kicked
- Being slapped, bitten, or choked
- Being hit or punched
- Being locked out of your home
- Being kept by physical force, from leaving
- Having objects thrown at you
- Being forced to have sex, unwanted sexual acts, or watch sexual acts and/or being constantly criticized sexually
- Being forced to have sex after a physical assault, when you are ill, or as a condition of the relationship
- Being denied access to family assets such as bank accounts, credit cards or the family car
- Your partner controls all the finances, forces you to account for what you spend or takes your money
- Your partner prevents you from getting or keeping a job or from going to school
Making a Safety Plan
- Try to get out or get help before violence occurs
- If an argument is unavoidable, try to have it in a room where you have access to an exit door. Avoid the bathroom, kitchen or bedroom, or any place where there could be weapons
- Practice how to get out of your house safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevators, or stairways to use
- Have a bag packed and keep it at a relative’s or friend’s home
- Set a routine of walking the dog, getting a paper, or taking out the garbage so that it is normal for you to leave for a short period of time
- Teach your children to dial 911
- Create a code word with your children, family, friends and neighbors to alert them to call 911 especially if they hear a disturbance in your home
- Plan with children. Plan a safe place for them. Reassure them that their job is to stay safe and not to protect you
- Trust your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the assailant what they want to calm down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger
- Make extra house and car keys and hide them for emergencies